I've Cried Over Dumber Things in the Past

So this month I got two Significant Rejection Letters. I know you know exactly what I’m talking about—for the kind jobs/gigs/publications that you think you want pretty badly but like you’ll be ok if the answer is no? Though you’re pretty sure you’re perfect for it? And then you actually get the rejection and you melt, just melt, and somehow the puddle of you still manages to cry over itself even though you don’t have eyes or tear ducts to cry with because they’ve melted, too.

So I’m trying to put this in perspective. Shouldn’t be too hard, theoretically, because I’m super sure I’ve had sadder things than this happen plus I know for sure I’ve cried harder over dumber things in the past but still—every now and then I’m not paying attention and my heart goes, Stop doing the dishes imMEDIATely we have to reconsider EVERYThing let’s start with Why are you the way that you are, I’d like a 4-page essay by 4AM tonight.

 Now I’ll say this. I’ll be over it in like—(licks finger, sticks it in the air)—2, 3 days? But I want to better than that. I would like to not melt and cry over my own melt every time. I would like to not read every rejection as a literal rejection of the sum of my being. This includes, but is not limited to: friend request rejections on any social media platform; someone not being the biggest fan of the food what I made, how ungrATEful; romantic rejections; someone not being the biggest fan of what I've written, how dARE they; when babies cry when you hold them; when dogs don't want to sniff your hand; when your headphones get caught on something and get YANKED out of your ears, oh my god so rude. 

So help me out here, guys. I’d like to hear from you, if you’d like, what is your go-to technique for getting out of that funk when you're feeling like you’re on some kind of show where you’re the comic relief character and your shtick is getting DRAMATIC as hell every time you’re disappointed. And the producers found out that got a laugh out of the audience and the ratings are tough at the mo so they’re like having you cry EVERY episode at least 5 times. Yknow? Comment below or email me at yvdwouden at gmail.com

Now, to play myself out, two lists.

Dumber Things I’ve Cried Over in the Past

  • A toilet paper commercial (Age 19)
  • Dropping the last bite of a thing I was eating (various ages, approx. 3-27)
  • A piece of candy shaped like a whale (Age 6)
  • Elephants on tv (Age 18)
  • People I don’t know hugging at airport (age 28)
  • Cakes (the not rising of) (22-29)
  • Hair (5; 13; 14; 15; 22; 25)
  • A Feeling (like an hour ago?)

Good Things I’ve Been Consuming This Week